A Glimpse Behind The Veil: Coming To Terms With Our Connectedness
It’s day 107 of my current meditation streak. It took until day 90 for me to notice an internal difference. Change is subtle.
Time takes on different proportions. The distance between a thought and its expression gets longer. For example, I want to talk less about other people for gossip’s sake and to not say things about people that I wouldn’t say to them directly. You probably never gossip, but I have to make an ongoing commitment to be mindful of what comes out of my mouth (or my fingers on a keyboard). Backseat driving other people’s lives is such good sport. Diagnosing what other people could be doing better in their own lives is so much easier than steering my own wild course.
“My lifelong and core belief, right after the conviction that I was defective, mildly annoying, and better than everyone else, was that my help was helpful,” writes Anne Lamott in Almost Everything: Notes on Hope. Indeed.
After more than a hundred days of sitting on the cushion, I catch myself. I think, “Why do I want to say that? Is it necessary? Helpful? Kind?” Here’s my personal revolution: I then throw away whole sentences before they are formed into words and unleashed on the world.
There’s more. I literally think fewer thoughts that need to be thrown away before they exit my mouth.
I notice other less practical effects of this meditation streak; energetic, ethereal effects. Yes, I’m going to cross the border into mysteries-of-the-universe land.
Two weeks ago, during this streak, I tried out a new series of guided meditations that aim to put the meditator in touch with the energy of the universe, the connectedness of each of us to everyone and everything else. The meditations guide me to sense the space around me and the vibrational frequency of the life that inhabits my body. Not what I think of as my here-and-now-flesh-blood-and-bone-I-can-see-and-touch-it body, but my body as part of a greater web, in which all the possibilities of my body exist. These are meditations intended to lift the veil, to offer me a glimpse of our ultimate oneness.
These new meditations have resurfaced four particular experiences I’ve had, each of which marked me profoundly and each of which I have…